


Two-People Council

by JazzBaby466



Category: Dublin Murder Squad Series - Tana French
Genre: F/M, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-28 03:03:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12596708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JazzBaby466/pseuds/JazzBaby466
Summary: "These were the things that passed between them unspoken. He didn’t have to tell her to come to him for a talk; she would simply come by herself."A tribute to the emotional closeness between Daniel and Abby. Flickering back and forth between platonic and romantic love, or possibly what these two have is somewhere beyond. Set during the strange, confusing time when they thought Lexie had returned to them.





	Two-People Council

Night had fallen and darkness had long since crept into every last corner of the house, filled the spaces in between. The colors of the house, naturally somewhat subdued, had grown even milder and gentler in the moonlight. As Daniel walked through it silently, once again he felt reminded of its age; and felt strangely reassured by it. The house had seen many things, many troubles. It would see them through this.

Abby’s doll lay still on the coffee table where she had placed it before dinner. Though just a lifeless object, Daniel had some idea why Rafe had been so disturbed by it. There was something about the empty, vacant look in its eyes, something about the hair still curling so naturally; the hair that had once grown on somebody’s warm head, inch by inch, each year… Its lifeless, unnaturally placed limbs reminded him instantly of Lexie’s body in the cottage; an association he had been fighting, yet couldn’t quite shake off. He had tried not to think much about that night, had tried to instead replace the memories with the fake one, where Lexie had gone out after a peaceful evening of playing poker… It hadn’t worked, though, not quite. Some things, as Daniel knew, were simply impossible to forget.

As he walked by the coffee table, he paused briefly, thought about readjusting the doll’s body to allow it to lie in a more natural position, then left it. Suddenly, he longed for the night air outside, clean and reviving as fresh river water. It was a cool night, but not unpleasantly so. Daniel was wearing a wool jumper and supposed he’d be able to stay out in it as long as he needed to. Abby wasn’t there yet, but he was certain that she, lying awake and staring at the dark ceiling in her room, had heard him walk downstairs through the empty house and would join him shortly. These were the things that passed between them unspoken. He didn’t have to tell her to come to him for a talk; she would simply come by herself.

For a moment, he considered sitting down on the swing seat. He imagined the gentle back-and-forth might lull him into some kind of relaxation; ease the tension some, for the first time in days. Instead, he sat down on the bench and reserved the swing seat for Abby. He needed to be sharp and alert these days. He didn’t deserve lulling and he couldn’t afford sagging in any way, shape or form. He had brought the five of them this far, steered them through the storm, but they weren’t on shore yet. The worst thing he could do was relax now. The fact that Lexie had come back home didn’t mean that their troubles were over; not by any stretch of the imagination. They were in deep and it was his responsibility to guide them back to what they had known before things had turned into this complicated mess.

His cigarette case lay outside, where he had left it earlier, knowing that he would be back for it. He picked it up, the silver smooth and cool against his skin and grabbed the match box that he had put next to it. He smoked slowly and intently, in long, relishing drags, watching the smoke curl in a lazy spiral, and thinking. Just after he had finished it, Abby joined him. She stepped out of the house in her pajamas with a soft-looking wool blanket wrapped around her upper body. Already, she looked cold and Daniel was glad to see she had at least put on some thick socks.

“Hello, Abby”, he said quietly and stubbed out the cigarette. “Do you want one?”, he asked then and indicated his smokes with a small gesture.

She declined politely and instead claimed the swing seat for herself, just as he had intended, immediately starting a slow, tranquil rocking with the movement of her upper body alone.

“Right”, he mumbled, watching the soothing back-and-forth.

“You look tired”, Abby observed then. “Maybe you should try sleeping, Daniel. You know, just every once in a while.”

“I’ve been sleeping just fine, thanks”, he replied, his tone not exactly hostile, but definite.

Abby shook her head ever so slightly, with a regretful little smile that softened her features into a thing of tragic, unbearable beauty. Daniel had to avert his eyes.

“I hear you walk through the house at night, you know”, she said quietly.

“Which means you’re always awake, too”, he pointed out just as softly.

The sad little smile froze in its place and reached her eyes. “I suppose so.”

For a moment, they both sat in silence. Daniel could feel her eyes on him, but he couldn’t bring himself to look up and meet them. Then, she shivered slightly and wrapped the blanket closer around herself, and the agonizing intensity of the moment had passed.

“I’d like to ask your opinion on something”, Daniel said then, finally twisting his head to face her. “If that’s alright for you.”

“That depends on what it is you want”, she whispered, and her voice sounded slightly hoarse after a day of talking. She continued to look at him intently, when she said: “Honesty or reassurance.”

“Maybe you can give me both”, Daniel replied and reached out for her hand intuitively. “And in any case, I’d prefer honesty from you, Abby. You should know by now how much I value your insights.”

“I don’t think I have any insights”, she replied and her hand felt shockingly cold in his. He moved closer to her and the gently-swaying swing and once again readjusted the blanket that was threatening to slide off her slim shoulders. “Everything feels so confusing. One moment, I feel like things are finally making sense again and then -“  
She broke off and absent-mindedly pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. It seemed, the sentence didn’t need finishing.

Daniel thought it best not to pursue such troubling thoughts at the moment. “I wanted to hear your opinion on Lexie”, he said instead. “What do you think is going on in her head?”

Abby laughed quietly, a small, half-suppressed sound containing no amusement. “Hard to tell what goes on in her head, isn’t it?”

“You two have your late-night girl chats, though, don’t you.”

“Daniel”, she said and withdrew her hand abruptly. “I’m not your spy, you know. Those talks are between Lexie and me. But if you’re asking whether she’s said anything that you should know, no, I don’t think so.”

“I wouldn’t ask you to come to me with anything that you think I should know”, Daniel spoke up, considering each word carefully. “But I expect you to. I think that if Lexie says anything to you that could be of interest to me, you will come and tell me. And I think you should know that.”

Abby nodded solemnly and placed her cold hand on his again. “I know, Daniel.”

“Do you feel like she’s settling back in well, then?”

Abby considered this for a moment and a brief, genuine smile appeared on her face as she remembered some small, intimate detail. Maybe she was thinking of Lexie gently teasing Rafe about forgetting food in his backpack, or maybe she was remembering the effortless understanding that had passed between her and Lexie that morning as they had prepared breakfast.

“Yes, I’d say so. She seems happy to be back; don’t you think?”

“She does, yes. Forgive me, though, for hanging on to these doubts. I really can’t help but feel uneasy, even if it appears that she’s happy to be back and willing to stay.”

“I don’t think she remembers…” Abby said quietly. Her feet in the thick socks brushed against the ground, but she never stopped her swinging. “Or if she does, she’s changed her mind by now, surely.”

“If she changed her mind again, though – you know Lexie – and decided that she wanted to sell up after all, we’d need to be prepared for that. I’ve been trying to think of the best way to –“

“Shh”, Abby made and the sound stunned Daniel into silence. So soft, so loving, like a mother holding her crying child. Where, he wondered, had _Abby_ ever learned that sound? “It’s alright, Daniel”, she said, in the same soothing tone. “Lexie doesn’t want to leave. I would’ve noticed if she did. She’s missed us. Maybe, even if she does remember her initial plan, those days in hospital are what made her change her mind. Maybe, they showed her how much we really mean to her.”

“Do you think it’s possible that she remembers the entire night, but thinks it wiser to pretend that she doesn’t? Do you think it’s possible that she’s decided to stay and that this is the only way she can?”

Abby wrapped the blanket tighter around herself without Daniel’s help this time. “It’s not impossible”, she whispered, and suddenly her voice sounded strained, like it might be gone in the morning if she kept talking for longer. “But I don’t think she remembers anything. The way she’s been with Justin…”

“Shh”, Daniel said now, trying to echo her sound from earlier, but not quite achieving the same gentleness. “Best not to talk of that. Best not to recall specifics.”

The house had a settled feel and his instincts told him that everyone but Abby and him were asleep. But on the other hand, they needed to be careful. Lexie could always be eavesdropping. It wasn’t exactly out of character. And on top of that… Daniel just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off about her. He had felt the weight of her body, the heaviness humans only take on when their bodies have made that irreversible change from subject to object. He had felt the absence of her pulse. And not even seeing her step out of that car and coming towards them with her usual bounce and cheerfulness had quite been able to undo those things in his mind.

There was a look of weariness on Abby’s face now that Daniel had never seen there before and that made his stomach contract painfully. He tried to tell himself that she was simply exhausted because it was late, but of course it was everything else, too. Her face was so pale in the moonlight and she looked so lost suddenly, like a small girl. Daniel got up and joined her on the swing seat, then pulled her onto his lap.

She followed his guiding movements, and huddled against him. They were in this together, Daniel thought. And Abby was strong, so incredibly strong. They had come together for this two-people council and they would come together like this again and discuss things, until everything was over. And until then, she wouldn’t falter, she’d be sturdy like a tree in the storm that bends its branches according to the wind and creaks under the weight of it all, but never breaks, never falls down.

“I’m cold now”, she whispered suddenly, in a voice much smaller than her normal one, and Daniel pulled her closer towards himself. He could tell how exhausted she was. Without thinking about it, he gave her body a reassuring squeeze.

“We should go back inside now.”

“I suppose”, she replied and stifled a yawn.

“Do you need anything else?”

She smiled that small smile again, but it didn’t look as sad this time. Instead, it warmed his heart.

“Just sleep”, she whispered, and raised a hand to rub her eye, again in an uncharacteristically child-like manner.

In spite of the blanket, he could feel her tremble against his body now. A breeze had started up, too, and Daniel pulled her closer.

“You know”, he said then, in a low voice and put his lips to the back of her head so he could inhale the smell of her shampoo, so comfortingly familiar. “It’ll pass. I promise it’ll pass.”

“The shivering?” There was a hint of humor in her tone that gave him more hope than anything else before. If she could still joke with him, even now, then they would probably be alright.

He smiled and spoke with his lips still pressed against her hair. “That, too.”


End file.
